Thinker posted this over on Orich's thread. It would help you to read Thinkers thread, he had a lot of the same struggles you are dealing with. His sitch has turned for the better after he took a stand for himself. I asked him to check in on you.
Quote:
Originally Posted By: Coach Quote: Quite frankly the only time I have had success was when W realized what she was losing.
What exactly were you doing to make that happen? And what was her reaction?
Hi Orich,
Remember that your W has to realize 2 things.
1) She has to realize WHAT she is losing.
For this you have to BE a strong, independent, happy, fun, loving person. She sees this when she sees you being happy and fun with your kids. She DOES NOT see this if you are cold, or rude, unhappy, angry, sullen. She DOES NOT see this if you are talking to her about how she is hurting you. She DOES NOT see this if you allow her to walk on you without standing up to her.
This is not something that you can fake. You have to BE strong, happy, independent, fun. Think Action.
2) She has to realize that she IS LOSING you.
Any time you pursue, allow her to walk on you (facebook?) without standing up for yourself, etc. She does not feel like she is losing you - you are still there. You need to separate yourself from her.
The trick is balancing these two - how do you separate yourself, stop pursuing, and let her realize that she is losing you, without being angry, sullen, rude, or otherwise being a person she would want to leave.
The ONLY way to do this is to become truly independent; to become happy, strong and independent without needing her.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
