Dunno. This really is "just my opinion", not advice per se. But that kind of thing .... still seems a bit lapdoggy, rescuing to me. Do you *really* only have one alarm clock in the whole house? No travel alarm, not an alarm on anyone's phone or laptop? If her alarm clock got dropped in the toilet, how would she get herself out of bed, if there was no "you"?
It's not that this is a big thing, in isolation. It's one of many courtesies she is going to lose by not having you live as her husband. All this stuff about detaching, not being too conveniently there, etc .... it's not meant to be hostile. It's meant to be realistic. By her actions, she may well be cutting herself off from your supportive helpfulness forever. I don't think she really understands that.
I think she has this vision of you there, waiting, to pick her up if she falls. That sounds nice on the surface, but isn't really healthy for her. Plus, it demonstrates exactly zero respect for you. If there wasn't another man involved, if she was just taking some time to "find herself" ... that *might* be different. But those are not the facts of your current reality.
She needs to FEEL what she may well be losing. You can say, "Well, as soon as she moves out, she'll feel it." Possibly true. But if her final days and hours with you are filled with even this kind of low-level caretaking ... it's only human to take for granted that she'll be able to pick right back up where she's left off. She sat up and took notice when you stopped the touching, didn't she? So give her some more losses to take notice of.
It's not really rational to expect a person to make the difficult decision when she gets almost as many benefits plus a bunch more outside the marriage when she makes the selfish decision......IMHO.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
