One thing I want to add to your papers discussion...your W may not have been the author of such a request. In a discussion I had with a divorce attorney today, he mentioned that some attorneys perform a disservice to their clients my demanding everything under the sun. Keep this in mind before judging your W...you just never know.
-LFH
ME: 38 W: 35 D2.5 and S5 Married 12 years Separated (same house, different rooms) INILWYAM by W: 4/16/2009 The day W requested a D: 4/17/2009
One thing I want to add to your papers discussion...your W may not have been the author of such a request. In a discussion I had with a divorce attorney today, he mentioned that some attorneys perform a disservice to their clients my demanding everything under the sun. Keep this in mind before judging your W...you just never know.
Yep. I hear what you're saying. Only thing is I can tell you the petition was something she copied from a website. No lawyer drafted it (I am one, so I should be able to recognize that).
I really do understand the mindset she was in when she wrote it. So, I can forgive what I see as some pretty ugly behaviour.
If you are a L, you should be able to draft something that will scare the pants off her, too. Sounds like that is all she is trying to do here, frankly. Get that big reaction.
If you are a L, you should be able to draft something that will scare the pants off her, too. Sounds like that is all she is trying to do here, frankly. Get that big reaction.
She does not know I know about it. She never showed it to me.
I'm not worried if it comes time for lawyering up. We are not in that place right now. I think we are slowly mending our friendship. I feel like I am slowly earning her trust and respect back, but it's gonna take time.
Of course, I am not happy that she met with my friend's W Monday and gave her the divorce petition. I don't know what they discussed, so for all I know, my W could have told my friend's W that she should slow down on the D effort and see if they have some hope of saving the M.
I don't know what they discussed, so for all I know, my W could have told my friend's W that she should slow down on the D effort and see if they have some hope of saving the M.
Yeah, I was going to suggest (as hard as it might be) to just focus on your own stuff and not get so worked up about someone else's stuff.
H35 W34 S4 | T-10 yrs M-6 yrs WAW said M over 04/09 | Living separate since 09/09 Thread #1 Thread #2 Thread #3
Pretty good day. My office had a mid year meeting. Long, but great meeting. Golf afterwards, which I am always up for. Weather was perfect. Dinner after golf - the BEST smoked salmon I have EVER had. It was incredible. Would love to know how they cooked it.
Got home, and W was up with S, who was finishing his homework. Glad I got to see S. After saying hello to my W, I walked right over to S, gave him a hug and kiss on his head, and told him I was happy I got to see him before he went to bed.
Took a shower and W put S to bed. Then just plopped down on a chair across from W in den and just told her about my meeting today, how great everything was. Started opening up to her a couple of days ago to tell her what I was excited about and what concerned me about my job. Coach suggested letting her see that side of me and let's see if she does the same.
W was pleasant and told me about going to S's football practice. She continues to show interest in talking to me, as if nothing is wrong between us.
I have worked in the occasional compliment every 3-4 days or so. Last one was yesterday morning - she was wearing a shirt in which she looked great. It was a hurried morning, getting the kids ready for school. After I dropped D at schoool, I sent W an IM: "By the way, you look great in that shirt. Meant to tell you earlier, but it was crazy getting D ready for school." Her reply, as usual, was "Thx." Apparently, she's not ready to show me she like my compliments. But, hey, it isn't upsetting her. So, I will keep working them in infrequently.
This lack of intimacy thing (and I'm talking about the sex part AND everything that goes with it) stinks. I keep reminding myself to be patient, but come on man!
Sorry GIMA.....when you get to 2+ years of celibacy then complain to me! Just kidding of course!
It has to be immensely frustrating to have her in the same house, within touching distance and know that you can't lay a finger on her without a nuclear explosion threatening. Sorry.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Just kidding of course!