I do feel that H's intentions are good. But now that we're headed for D, I can't put all my trust in him. I can only judge him on past behavior. While he has always been very generous, I know that he hasn't given me a fraction of what he's earned, like he said he would. He's not a saver and will spend whatever he gets on himself and whatever else happens to be in his life at the moment. If he asks me to trust him again, I'm going to tell him that I trusted him when he promised to love me forever and look how that turned out. His dictionary has a different definition for the word forever, I guess.
Have to admit that I haven't lost any sleep over my phone call with H. I've spent the last 3 years+ anticipating and preparing for that conversation. And we've had similar conversations 2 years back. So until we actually sit down with the lawyers, that's when I'm expecting it to hit me.
I imagine I'll be listing all the things wrong with H to justify the D and to convince myself that I'm ok with it. Wonder how long that will work for me...
