In my case, even though H didn't marry ow, I think he really loved her at some point. After that wore off, I guess he tried to convince himself he loved her. It's easier than the alternative of admitting his disastrous mistake and going back to fix things.
Maybe your xh chose a path - unfortunately the wrong one - and has just decided to follow through all the way with it. Who really knows what they're thinking and why they make the decisions they do.
Just because they're married doesn't mean they start with a clean slate. Even in the unlikely chance that the M survives, they and everyone else who knows them will know the ugly truth about their R and the damage it caused. As for forgiving ow, I can't say that I have either, but holding her responsible and feeling bitter and resentful towards her only hurts you. Ultimately, it was your xh's actions that are to blame. Like my H's ow, she's young and stupid - just how the MLCer's like 'em.
