If so, it seems like there are easier ways to heal.
You have the option of choosing any way that works. The reality is that most of these marriages are irreparably damaged and most end. Almost everyone comes here totally devastated and desperate to save their marriages.
It happens once in a while and some reconcile and subsequently separate again.
This is not to depress you. Your sanity is more important than anything. But, you've got to buck up. YOu love her, you hurt her, sure you take a risk in trying to save your marriage, that is where the love comes in. You decide it is worth it and you do what you have to do.
I think loving her is respecting her enough to back off. What does love mean to you. Deciding now that you have to have her and on your timeline??? You think that's love but is it?
If you have a better path or plan, lay it out and do it and note how it works. I'm not being sarcastic, there are no rules.
But, you think you have control here and she is desperately trying to take and feel in control of her own life. Whether you get her back or not, you are taking something from her by making it all about you and how you just know now that it is better for her to be with you.
It takes time to process how hard this is and that you can only control yourself.
Again, pick a path and give it more than 3 days...this is LOVE we're talking about. If you thought it would work, would you do something hard for it?
This is your life, no one is saying you have to do anything, you just have to interject some logic in when you are so emotionally driven.
