Clingy and needy does not equal sensitive and emotionally available. The connection is gone. To remedy this you are the one who signed up to do the work. You wife is not here asking for advice. We can only respond to you.
You are being watched right now. If you crumble under the stress it will validate her opinion of you currently. You control your thoughts, emotions, feelings and actions. You can waste all the energy you have wondering what she is thinking, why she acting this way and what her next move is, or you can thrive for yourself and show her what she is missing. The choice is yours. You can handle it.
Cheers
As always Coach, you're right.
She has seen a lot of these changes. She has even commented on them. Her reasons keep changing though. She said that if she stayed and tried to work on things we'd just be back here in a couple of years anyway. That seems to be her biggest fear.
She may say that she "can't be her real self around me...doesn't like who she is when she is with me...has been living a lie...just doesn't like my personality...thinks that I am a selfish person...wants to be young and carefree while she still can..." whatever, but it still seems that the biggest thing is that she doesn't think that changes will last. (I think she wants me to be more of a 19 year old party guy, but that just isn't me...more chilled out, sure, but I'm just not the close out the bar every Saturday kind of person)
The only thing I can do is to continue to live the changes.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
