Young couple in need of help

[sumguy27]

Also for some reason I have a gut feeling she is bringing someone with her to GA. She has done so before with her past boyfriends including me. She first said that she couldn't find a ride home from the airport. I told her that it would be fine that the kids and I come pick her up. Then last night she said that my father in law is picking her up and she doesn't want the kids till next monday after work.

Oh and she snaped at me when I asked for the insurance money. Saying she won't have any money to spend down there if she gave me money. I was puzzled as my mother in law always paid for everything when we went down there. Even her sisters.

Ok I need to breath and just stop assuming things or I won't be able to work today like before.

[sumguy27]

You were right stronger about just lashing out at me. She was being a bitch right away and I just ignored her atitude.

[Stronger]

At first, it's difficult. But then it gets easier and then they let up because they realize, OK, I'm the bully here.

Keep it up.

[sumguy27]

Today I'm not doing so well. Wife came back from her trip and was very short answer with me. She texted me today saying she cannot afford the SUV and wants the corolla instead. She also said she is closing her account that we have that is joint. And is going to re-open a new account. We are suppose to meet up at 5 or 6 to exchange the kids.

I don't want to blow things out of portportion. Tomorrow is the big concert and I just want to have fun with her again. So I don't want to ruin things today for tomorrow. I'm going to try and avoid confrontation.

The hard thing is I guess she has been telling all her family members that "she loves me but is not in love with me anymore." I hate hate those freaking words. I hate them because I used them on her at first when I was blind. Now the tables have turned and it feels like she is drifting farther apart.

Some days I just want to say F it. But when I look at my kids I keep telling myself to not give up. Deep down I know she loves me. Its just so hard to break that wall.

[Stronger]

What you are feeling is normal.
Unfortunately, the only thing you can do, you know already.
No fights. No R talks.
There's not one point in looking back. Work on you. Be happy. Act as if. You are really doing fine. You are right to want to save this and be with your wife. You are doing all you can and you are doing it like a true man. One day, I hope she tells you Thank you for not quitting on us.
Hang in there. You really are doing great and I'm so impressed with how much you have grown up in just a few short weeks.

Remember she's going to get close and pull back. I call it backlash. You have no idea what exactly will cause it, but normally after a fun time together, expect anger and attitude so she can "teach" you there's not a chance for you two. But just keep working her, you'll break through.

What are you doing to GAL?

And give her the Corolla. Sounds mature on her part.

[sumguy27]

Yup backlash again yesterday when she picked up the kids. Just a total atitude towards me. We had a good week no fights I left her alone also. No arguments or nothing but she just was snappy at me. I just asked geez whats your problem? Then I asked for her to write me a check for the insurance. She gets her check book out and is just mad because she is writing me a check on what we agreed on.

It was like she was waiting for me to give her my usual hug even though she was by the driver door. She said ok I'm going. I just said alright bye and turned around and never looked back.

Hopefully tonight is going to be fun. I just want her to loosen up and have fun with me tonight.

[Stronger]

You can't even acknowledge her bad mood.
If your child was having a temper tantrum, one way to combat it is to ignore it. Eventually the kid gives us and gets with the program.
And what's more, her temper tantrum may have NOTHING to do with you. Everyone, despite what's going on in their personal lives still has to deal with the real every day life things, like crappy co-workers or bosses, traffic, bills, kids, grocery shopping, etc.
Ignore it. Don't ask what her problem is. If it's that important she'll tell you.

[sumguy27]

Yeah I wasn't really trying too. It was just all directed towards me. While when she was talking with my mom and my nephews she had a smile. Right when she saw me it was complete anger.

[Stronger]

Let's pretend you knew what she was thinking....let's pretend she's thinking: Oh no you don't! I don't like you! I'm going to show you! I'm going to be mean to you! How dare my H care enough about me to treat me with respect and kindness when I'm not doing the same for him?! No way! I'm going to MAKE him be an ass....so I'm not the only one!

Honestly dude, I'm not that far off. Believe me. She's acting like a child who has no idea how to act.

Keep up the good work.

[sumguy27]

We had a great time last night. I actually enjoyed myself. I slept over at her place because I could not drive home. Glad to just make it to her place. Everything was great we slept in the same bed.

This morning she woke up and was having a back lash at me. I kind of just blew it off. But I feel great today. Because its exactly like what you said stronger, it seemed like she was having fun with me and she seems confused.

So the only thing she could do was give me a atitude to try and show me that she is firm on her decesion still.