Hey PD, I would be interested to hear your take on the rebuilding a friendship. Do you think that that shouldnt be worried about until the bad behavior ends? Im kind of salty about the idea of being my H's friend...esp lately...
That's a hard question. How many of these "friendships" are truly friendships? How many people would be sustained by a friendship where you do all the giving? It's hard not to because it's someone you care about. I'd say that the "friendship", if you can even call it that, should be tempered. The LBS should be flitting in and out of it just like the WAS. At least half of invites to get together should be turned down. The WAS can be part of your life, but at YOUR convenience and when they initiate. During that time, be someone they can talk to and have a little fun with, but not necessarily just a repository for all their emotional junk. This is in the scenario where you aren't sure about the affair or there isn't one. I could certainly understand having NOTHING to do with your spouse as long as the affair is going on. It should be made really clear through your actions that your spouse has ZERO chance with you. Take a page from the WAS playbook....they tend to try to let you down easy by hanging around a bit.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
