I don't want to give her the satisfaction of telling her that it's OK to go. It's not.
Quote:
How can I "let go" without absolving her? I don't want to tell her that this is OK
"W, I do not agree with your decision, but I know I can't stop you from leaving. What you decide to do is up to you. This isn't what I want, but I accept your decision."
Accepting doesn't mean you agree or approve. She needs to know you will be fine with whatever she chooses. I know you don't feel that way, but you can fake it until you have gotten there. Any attempt to reach out to her, to beg, plead, show her you are devastated (I know you are hurtnig inside - he!!, we have all felt that) will only drive her further away quicker.
She has got to take her journey alone. You cannot do it for her, and you cannot stop her from it. You CAN continue to be strong, change yourself and work on detaching. Maybe she comes out of the fog, maybe not. Maybe if she comes out of the fog, it will be too late - and if it is, that means you will be in a R in which you will be happier than you ever imagined.
One of the things I have felt lately is I may not want my W back. I still want to fight for my M, but a NEW M where she and I change to make it better than it has ever been. Coach has told me to get ahead of my W on the detaching/changing front. I have passed her on the changing front, and I think I am in the passing lane with my blinker on in the detaching department.
I am praying for you. Pray for yourself - ask for strength, courage, discernment and above all else, patience. This won't be easy (what part of any of this HAS been?), but you can do it. AND, you will be a much stronger, wiser and better person, father, and who knows, maybe even a husband.
