Kalni, what is your goal here? For him to read it and understand things from your point of view? Because i'm not sure at 8 pages a pop he would... jmo. Maybe it doesn't matter and you just want to send it, if so I'll keep quiet
Hugs to you. I looked at your jewellery on FB and it is really lovely. You are so creative!
Goal? No goals Julia. Remember, I am done. My point of view? Him to know what I think of him and mostly express myslef. Ever since the truth is out, we have not met or anything but 30 mi nutes the first night. Since then I found out things that got me going... I just want to let this out. I dont expect answers if that is what you mean, or sympathy. No, thanks. K
What do I gain? I keep my sanity, letting steam off before I put that smile on tomorrow when my kids arrive.
I think I understand now. If you just tore up the letter after, it would not feel the same.
Originally Posted By: Kalni
It feels good just to push "send".
If there was a "castrate" button, would you push it now?
From my own experience, I think my XW has suffered enough. She caught her STD and may have needed the hysterectomy because of some other virus she picked up from the bar hoping encounters. But I do know that she is sincerely sorry and would like a time machine so as to undo the past.
Your STBXH may someday may reveal to you the immense shame and regret he has of the huge betrayal he has done. Just remember about your first H who years after believes now that you and he had a good thing and it was the maturity of yourselves at the time that spoiled that marriage.
There are many ways to purge anger from your system. I think this is your way of doing it. I say get it all out and then be done with it, don't look back - hold your head up high and just walk away.
Wow, she was so on about several things. She asked me about past dates and what occurred then(lots to do with Chiron). Told me that I have a soul connection with the guy I like and we will have our time as there is no avoiding it but she couldn't say for certain when.
Sounds as if I have faced a lot of the lessons I needed to learn and told me that she hoped to someday sound as mature as I am! LOL I just think I am older than she is.
She gave me dates to watch for and said I was doing things right. I do need to let go of my fear of rejection, something to work on for sure. The critical eye that I have about myself needs to step back. Just really good and we went way over time, bad I know but I will take care of it when I have some more funds.
I am going to let this soak in a bit and try to tell you more later.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
K.. you did the right thing. No hesitation. No need to second guess yourself, enoughs enough. You are just speaking the truth. DBing teaches us to bite our tongues and show grace and patience and understanding, blah blah... but when you are done, your done and all you are doing is saying all those things that have dawned on you and sharing it with him and why not? I doubt he disagrees with what you say and in some ways it must be a relief to not have to pretend anymore, I guess. See you soon!!!!???
Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
IMO, you did the right thing with the letter. Even if he hits delete and pays no attention to it, at least you got it off your chest and that's what is important. He already knows he's a worm. He's said as much to you. His words and actions caused you doubt yourself, your love, your very sanity.....he deserves whatever he gets.
Trust me, there are many, many things I wish I had said to Gabe once I realized that there was too much damage to fix but I still held my tongue (and continue to) out of fear of 'rocking the boat'. That was really stupid and now so many things have festered in my mind and heart that they have turned to poison. It's very hard to parent with someone that you hold a lot of resentment toward so it's good to let it go!
Hope your afternoon was good and I'm sure you are excited to have your kids back. Enjoy them!!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
