I’ve been following your sitch on and off for a while now and I thought I would comment now as I can see some similarities with what I’ve been through recently.
I have been in piecing for about a year and a half now and although W and I are doing ok the intimacy hasn’t returned to the extent I hoped it would have. I think I am a bit further on than you as W and I share the same bed and do enjoy cuddles before going to sleep, but it wasn’t always like that.
When we first started piecing I was hoping for the sex to return immediately but it didn’t, I pursued a bit, and it put her off . I set up certain romantic scenario’s (eg trip to paris) and W would just see these as a rouse for me to get sex and would back off even more (a bit like your DB 2 step).
Anyway what I do now is just enjoy the relationship I have with W, everything is ok except the sex, (just like in your case). Now I don’t chase the sex we just relax in each others company, at bed time we cuddle, if my “little man” pops W does not pull away as I don’t try to put him anywhere he’s invited . Even up to a few weeks ago if he had raised his ugly head, W would have jumped out of the bed but now she tolerates him. How do I survive, well lets just say the internet is my friend.
Just to digress like your previous posters, my W suppressed a lot of her sexuality and kept it hidden from me. I too thought she was naïve, shy and not experienced but when I found out some of the things she got up to with OM, I as the others did feel very cheated. Some of the things I begged for and was denied was given away to someone else without a minutes thought. I did get a few weeks glimpse of it but then she went back to her normal ways. I could go on and on but I just wanted to say if W isn’t ready to restotre that side of you M, no amount of persuading from you will make it happen. But if you want to be patient and wait (I know it’s been a long time now) then that’s what you’ll have to do, and hopefully the good times will come back.
