WOOHOO!!!! I am so glad you have a date! Dish us the details!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Well, I haven't met the lady I'm meeting Friday yet, but I have talked with her on the phone quite a bit.
She's smart, she's passionate about what she does. She's full of compassion, she's kind, she's generous. All of that, and she's very attractive, as well!
Kalni, I know that I haven't been "really" married for a long time. You are right, I don't think I'd make a big deal about it with the kids, to them it's really already happened, I think. Nonetheless, the fact remains, that I am married. It's ironic, sometimes I feel that the marriage is "just a piece of paper" at this point, the way some people think the divorce is "just a piece of paper". It will be easier when it's done, though. It matters to the lady I'm meeting Friday, and it does matter to me, still.
I was disappointed that stbx told S11. I think she realized she shouldn't have, but there's no stuffing that cat back in the bag! I get the feeling the kids want to meet people I see... they actually want them to be in their lives. I don't think that's at all a good idea until there's pretty good reason to think it's a real long term thing. Based on their reaction, I guess it's ok that they know I'm "out there", but I would have rather waited. It will be ok!
Heck my 16 and 13 year old sons are practically pushing me out the door and I don't even have anyone I am dating!! The kids and I do talk about it and I get the feeling that they would all be okay with it.
Our stories are a bit different so maybe that is why they are fine with it.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I agree Jeff. If/when that time comes that I would date, my kids won't know about it or meet anyone until such time that I think they are going to be a part of my life...
Yeah, I didn't really want to tell anyone I was dating til things got more serious either. It feels weird, especially since my D is also not finalized. I'm sure it's even stranger with kids, especially the two youngest.
But I am glad they are okay!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
It feels weird that the kids are so excited about me dating! But it seems like they already don't think of me as married, so it's probably a good thing.
I really, really, really don't understand why W let the cat out of the bag. She really isn't one to talk without thinking, especially to the kids. When I told her, I thought about asking her to not tell the kids, but I didn't think I had to.
I talked to her about it again today, after we talked about for S11's schooling. It seems the system is fighting her, so it may be interesting. She can be a bit of a bulldog, and S11 told her to fight them. She told him they were going to fight her tooth and nail, he told her to use bullets. (She said he said that he tried to think of something short of bullets, but couldn't!) Anyway, I mentioned dating before the D was final. She again said that she didn't have any problem with me dating. Then she said that she was using the lack of D as an excuse when she was approached! She said she wanted to be on her own for a while first. She said a guy at work asked her if she was going to date, and she said she was waiting for the D. She told me it was an excuse, not a reason.
I told her I was working on the paperwork. She said she wanted to be done by the end of the year. I'm good with that.
I'd be a little miffed at her telling the kids, as well... However, you are very fortunate that you two co-parent so well together. I don't know your background, but I can tell by the way you talk about her and your family, that you are definitely holding up your half of the responsibility in doing so.
She's going to do things you don't like. However, if you approach the subjects with the right heart, you can't do anything but create a healthy medium of communication.
You really are just the best. Way to go...
Can't wait to hear about your date!!! Do you need help picking out an outfit? LOL>
Last edited by mindfull; 09/02/0904:02 AM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If there is one thing I believe it's that tbx and I both will put the kids first. As far as decisions regarding the kids, I trust her completely. Well, except about telling them I'm dating!
What to wear... here's the thing! I live in Tucson! I have golf shirts, khakis, and jeans! Argh!
Wow! Busy for a couple days, and I miss all the fun!
I hope you have lots of fun on your date - can't wait to hear all about it.
As far as your stbx goes, maybe for the time being, you'd be better off not confiding in her regarding your "love life" for the time being. Unless you want the info passed on to your sons!
