We know that and so do your kids. They are very torn at the moment (as are mine). Please don't make the same mistake I did and talk to them so often about shared care etc etc that they stay away even more. Believe me that's a worse feeling.
What do you not do for yourself now that you always used to before XW and kids came along? Find MMF again. For me it's a very emotional journey and one that at times I'm not enjoying BUT it's also something I have to do b/c I can't live my life through my children as it's driving them further away and STBXH no longer cares whether I live or die. Do I want to be lonely for ever? Hell no. Do I need to make the effort to make sure that doesn't happen? Hell yes. Do I actually have a choice . No I don't believe I do unless I just want to roll over and die - which I don't. So personal discovery is the only way forward for us both.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
