Bridge Thank you. I have read "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It" and "You Don't Have To Take It Any More". Both fabulous, I love Stosny. I will look for the other one you mentioned.
I have tried with varying degrees of success over the years to say exactly what you said. In the past, it would sometimes work, now it works less frequently. It actually angers him more, gets him to speak to me even meaner, and he resents me walking away from him. Even though numerous MC;s have suggested this exact technique, he is terribly resistent to it. I'll keep trying, though.
But you are dead on about the three year old tantrum. It's very hard for me to experience this strong, intimidating, adult male as a toddler having a temper tantrum, but in hindsight, this is exactly what it is. But it's also a scary kind of control and power thing that sends chills up my spine.
I'll keep trying not to let him put me in fear mode when he is screaming. I'll try to hear him as the child who needs to be heard instead of the scary growling wolf, I'll try to be cool in the heat of it.
You have had success with this statement? I applaud you!
