The work you seem to have referred to in a few posts, of getting a divorce.
Slow down, breathe. Most people here are dealing with the D word, that is why we're here.
The problem is that you don't really like her and you don't know if you want to be married to her (IMO)...you are in a good position to detach and make peace with the possibilities and your judgement will subside which will in turn help your communication.
I don't know how to not judge someone (H) who is threatening my family and the welfare of my children. However, I've backed off and I communicate with him when I am able to respect that he has a right to make his choices and I make mine. My sitch is different and extreme but it is the same principle.
