Need Advice, WAW wants to give it a month

[trrose]

So much for the month cooling off period. after a couple of exchanges my wife is now says that she wants the D..

when i asked her if she was sure this is what she wanted she said " dont know if you are ever really sure but that is what i want now."
I told her i was disappointed but would respect her decision if that is what she really wanted.

I tried to get her to go to retroville (sp?) and she refused to go. she said that she doesnt have the intimate feelings for me and that she doesnt know how you can get them back.

I know I have been so back and forth on these posts so i appreciate you all sticking with me during my schitzo behavior.

I told me the other night that she loved me but she doesnt want to be married anymore..period

[trrose]

So I need advice because I am conflicted

A, How should i handle the process now? Should I stall? Make her do most of the work?

[trrose]

anyone?

[MrBond]

What went on during those exchanges?

[aliveandkicking]

I tried to get her to go to retroville (sp?) and she refused to go. she said that she doesnt have the intimate feelings for me and that she doesnt know how you can get them back.

I'm curious as to how you described this. Really it is a last resort and many people feel the way she does.

Anyway, I know this is intense but it is very similar to many of the sitches here.

For now, back off, let her do the work and really start focusing on yourself. I'm hoping you'll get some specific advice from Coach.

Divorce is a long process, if you stop fighting it, it can diffuse the situation some.

[aliveandkicking]

Also- lay out your possible options here...then you can pick your path and see how it works.

[trrose]

What went on during those exchanges?

My head is spinning and i really wasnt the coolest cat. Probably broke every rule in the book (probably because i am conflicted as well) Mostly how this was the time we were supposed to speak and try to reconnect and she didnt make an effort to meet me 1/2 way. how i was confused by her "about faces"
she bagged out of a family picnic..which runs counter to working on things..she s she has no plans to go with me to thanksgiving etc

she mentioned how she has no intimate feelings for me and that she doesnt see how she can get it back. I asked if her IC had suggeestions. she s that she had but she (my W) thinks its fruitless

In convo today she is bewildered by the things that i say. i mentioned it is because of my frustration with the situation. she mentioned it is her intention to pursue D with mediation and she asked me to call the realtor...which i stupidly did. i should make her do the work

[trrose]

I'm curious as to how you described this

told her that i heard it was very helpful to people who were having marital difficulties..she looked at website and didnt want anything with religious overtones. i told her it wasnt that..she was basically looking for excuse to blow it off

[trrose]

let her do the work

what work are you referring to?

[MrBond]

Aside from her not feeling "attracted" to you, were there any other issues she brought up? Emotional ones?

could be she's depressed and maybe got a bit of post-prtum after your youngest was born.