Well, had a productive day fixing up the house. Got my lamps going, my candles that I love, I burned them today and I felt at home and content that things were getting a bit more normal.
Still tired tonight though not as bad, I have the most sore, rough hands now. Only one more room to sort out - D's room, what a nightmare.
Tonight at least now sitting in the living room, it feels homely and I can relax a bit after cooking a nice dinner.
H rang and had a go at me for locking the garage door at the old house, I hadn't even been there today, politely pointed out that the agent did a final inspection today and was the one who locked it. What annoyed me was that he had a go at me in front of the friend he had with him helping him. Thought that was low.
So feeling a bit more settled tonight, trying not to worry about H and his stuff, he hasn't worried about me and the all packing, moving and unpacking so why should I worry about him.
Will hop over to you now and see what's been happening.
Coach and GIMA are better at this than I am, but I think it's the concept of letting go of the outcome, but not really letting go of the person. Not pursuing, but not going all cold and withdrawn.
YES YES YES YES YES! I forgot about this part, but it's absolutely true. Detach from the outcome...if you do that, it's easier to stop trying to control or manipulate someone else's actions.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
I will have to think about that, it's getting your head around the concepts and then actually putting it into practice.
It's a real fine line that you have to walk isn't it, not pursuing, but not going cold, letting go of the outcome is probably the hardest bit, actually switching off from what could happen in the future.
It is certainly a rollercoaster ride isn't it. The funny thing is I have always hated rollercoasters and now I am on one.
H was a bit softer this morning, but I quickly corrected my thoughts on that one and remembered that it probably won't last and not to read anything into it just yet. I tink that is the first time I have actually done that.
Our old house changes hands tomorrow, then that chapter of our lives and the tension in that house will be closed.
I don't feel that the tension I was feeling in that house has transferred to my new home even though H is there, I feel more relaxed, very odd feeling.
I have some plans for next week, a fashion parade Tuesday night to go to and on 5 October I start to learn 1940's swing dancing with some friends. I don't need a partner, singles are welcome. Always wanted to do dancing, go dancing but H never would. So I am looking forward to it should be fun and I guess I will find out if I have two left feet or not. Also want to join the libray which is conveniently across the road and start to spend a bit of time sitting in the sun reading, something I have never had the time to do, too busy worrying about H being bored etc.
Maybe this is my turning point and starting to do some detaching.
Maybe this is my turning point and starting to do some detaching.
Oz
Sounds like it to me.
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Hi Oz Well, you sound like you have turned a bit of a corner and have started to climb again ... I had a warm sense of well-being imagining you sitting in your new place, candles burning, reading a bit maybe and the homely smells of dinner still lingering on the air ... If I see that from a few hours plane ride away, H must surely be feeling it being there!
I think that you need to push that thought away of his commenting on the garage. I think that he was acting out in front of the friend that he was with and I believe that it was for the friends benefit, not yours or H's, for what that is worth. Must have hurt though but push it away and give it not one more thought.
A weird day knowing that they house is no longer yours but as you say, the tension of that home is now gone and you are recreating your new one, with none of those tensions remaining. Don't allow them to come back. Keep your new home harmonious, warm, light and civil. Anyone who rocks the boat, show them the door. This is YOUR space and you have it the way that you want it.
Good luck with the swing dancing - fancy that myself! I also fancy ballroom and, now that I have found a place about 40 minutes away from here that does lessons, I just can't afford to go, which is a shame. I really need that elusive job!!
OK - off to check on some others and then post my own for the morning.
Catch you later. Have a great day :o)
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
