Good question. You are currently doing all the work and being the only one pushing for this marriage. To my eye it looks a little desperate and needy. There is no challenge here...you are just here in the wings accepting whatever scraps she throws your way (and it doesn't sound like there are any at the moment). I think what you are doing now is a bust...so why are you still doing it?
I think your wife's friend gives you the advice from the standpoint of someone that hasn't checked out of the relationship. Ask her what she would think if someone she didn't want to be with did as she suggested and maybe her tune would change. I think her husband had the better mentality...kick her to the curb. While you aren't prepared to do that literally...figuratively you could. Start doing more things for yourself. Don't push for her to make any decision regarding the relationship...you just proceed as though she made one....that she wants out. Her behavior certainly seems to suggest it...that and she is possibly still cheating. What would you do with your life if she wasn't in it? Take up some of that in small doses.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
