Ups and Downs

[Coach]

Well so much for progress. She told me tonight that she got a lawyer today and shezs moving out.

I am sitting here in complete shock. She is in consoling our son. She's already packed her stuff.
I am numb.

You just got sacked for a loss, on 3rd down, deep in your own end and got the wind knocked out of you. It's part of the game. Catch your breath, regroup with the coaches and get ready for the next series. It's still early in the first quarter.
FWIW, I didn't start DBing until right before my wife moved out and filed. My mentality was that it wasn't over until the judge signed off on the D until then I had a shot but I was very aware of the alternative. You can handle it.

Cheers
Coach

[antlers]

My mentality was that it wasn't over until the judge signed off on the D...until then I had a shot, but I was very aware of the alternative.

That's an awesome way to be able to look at the situation.

[Energizer Bunny]

Thank you all for the support.

I had to call into work today. I just couldn't pull it off. She is here. My 7 year old boy came to me a little bit ago and asked if I knew Mommy was on the computer looking to buy a new house.

I am still numb.

After all of this time I thought I would be better prepared.

[Energizer Bunny]

She just left to look for places to live. She took out son with her!

[givingitmyall]

Get busy. Coach is right. It is a setback that can be overcome.

[Energizer Bunny]

Im having a hard time not beeing needy and begging. It's so hard to see why she has to go through with this when she admits that I have addressed her issues.

She just can't let go of past percieved injustices.

[MrBond]

"It's so hard to see why she has to go through with this when she admits that I have addressed her issues."

She could have the feeling that they're superficial. It took years for the M to get to this point, it's going to take more than a couple months for it to get better. But at least you started.

"She just can't let go of past percieved injustices."

The thing is that they aren't "percieved" by her. They are very real even if you don't agree.

You've just got to give her space and detach and live your own life. Right now it seems like she's in the driver's seat. What have you been doing to take back control of the wheel? What have you been doing to live your life?

[Energizer Bunny]

she is in the driver's seat. that's for sure.

I have been taking more time with my son, family, and friends. It's nearly paralizing to think of missing out on a huge majority of the rest of my son's childhood.

When I ask W what she wanted for our marriage her answers are exactly the things that I want now. I just want a chance. A chance to show her who I can be. Who I am now. She just can't get past the past.

We still haven't tried to put it all together. Her reasons change regularly. Generally a variation, but sometimes they change a lot.

I know I can only control me, but it's been a really rough day.

[givingitmyall]

You are living your chance right now, despite what she says. "Don't believe anything they say and only half of what they do."

Now is not the time to throw in the towel. Now is the time to double up on your DB'ing.

[Energizer Bunny]

yoou are right. perception is reality. I have apologized for so many things. mostly for stuff that I didn't even know I did wrong.

she doesn't wannt apologies anymore. she keeps telling me to let it go...like the conversation is about a bad call at a baseball game or something.

It's like she doesn't get the gravity of the situation.