It astounds some people who know me that I take such ownership of my part and forgive (not excuse) H's behavior. It is a very empowering experience. I am not a victim and my life is my responsibility, keeps me from sinking further into the pit of despair to be mindful of that.
This is the same thing my W has told me. Almost word for word. She has said she's healed but when we sat and cried toegther I realized how much she wasn't healed and how much hurt is still there. In fact I caused the wound to be reopened when I showed up telling her I loved her and wanted to save our marriage. I have the hardest time reconciling all of the hurt with the fact that she says she's forgiven me. It doesn't feel like she's forgiven me at all. Seems like she just tucked it all inside and and got her life under control.
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
