Antlers, I know I have hurt her, I can only hope that she can heal and that she can open up to me again.
OK. You know you've hurt her, and you know it takes time afterwards...for her. It takes a lot more time than we want it to. Remember that. But, you've got to put priorities on Orich right now. Be the best father to your kids that you can be, be the best Orich that you can be, and become the best partner that you can be.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
It seems like lately it's been getting worse. For a long time it was bad but bearable. Now its steadily declining. It does however coincide with her cycle which messes her up mentally on a good day, so maybe it isn't all bad. Either way, I only mention it, I am not letting it affect me. I have lots to do now that I am a den leader for my son's scouting, and I am loving it. I have a lot of planning to do and meetings to attend. I want to get as much out of this for my boys, but also for me. I want to continue to volunteer and follow them all the way up to eagle scout.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Sounds like fun. My boys hated scouts when we did it a couple of years ago. However, I still have friends met during scouting with my boys.
Hope I didn't go overboard on the anger stuff. May have been projecting a bit.
I can't help but think that in most of our sitches our S is going through an equal amount of he!! as we are. What I can't figure out is how to bridge the devide.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
I understand the anger thing, believe me. I do notice that my W looks sad often, but it looks like it is mostly when I am around. I don't know how unhappy she really is. She is definately unhappy with me, but how happy is she really otherwise?
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I can relate to what you are saying about your W being unhappy with you as mine was the same way or at least that's what she thought. Personally I think she was unhappy with herself more then anything. Not saying that I'm perfect. Just saying she was feeling unhappy and just happen to look over and saw me and bam there's the reason. Now that she has been gone for nine months she is still unhappy. Sure she continued to blame it on me for a while and I was a willing accomplice by trying to hold fast. Now that I've let her go guess what, she's still unhappy. The hard part is watching her search for happiness as if it is a magic box.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Yeah, my W has issues, deaths in the family, expectations not met, post-partum depression, inability to handle stress well. I hope for her sake she sorts all this out, and I hope for our sake she sorts it out before she leaves.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
It does however coincide with her cycle which messes her up mentally on a good day, so maybe it isn't all bad.
I do notice that my W looks sad often, but it looks like it is mostly when I am around. (Can you blame her?) I don't know how unhappy she really is. She is definately unhappy with me, but how happy is she really otherwise?
Yeah, my W has issues, deaths in the family, expectations not met, post-partum depression, inability to handle stress well. I hope for her sake she sorts all this out, and I hope for our sake she sorts it out before she leaves.
notice a trend?
That is just on this page. Keep focusing on her and see where it gets you.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Wait, I was just relating to what Bart was saying. How else can I explain stuff about her without mentioning her? What about all the I am a den leader now, and I am doing a lot of preparing and reading, and I am happy doing that stuff, I am looking forward to scouting with MY son. And before that, I realized that I hurt her, and I am owning up to it. Give me some credit. I have texted back and forth with __ a couple of times today and only said what needed to be said. I was busy downloading scouting manuals and stuff to get ready for the first den meeting. I also arranged a sitter so I can go to the gym a few more nights this week than usual. And for the first time in a while, I prepared a monthly activity report for my Sergeant on time. I know what you are saying. I am focussing less (not totally not at all yet) on her and more on me.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Back to the gym tonight. I haven't gone since I've been off from work. I am looking forward to going back. It is my new stable situation, if you know what I mean. The gym is always there for me (it is actually open 24 hours) in a way like W used to be. It is a constant, but a positive constant. W is for now a negative constant.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
