Looking For Help

[Looking_For_Help]

Thanks Sandi,

I do believe I have the right attitude, but it IS terribly difficult maintaining a level head through this misery. Right now it’s all about getting to Retrouvaille. My patience will be tested over the next 45 days like no other time in my life. I’m up for the challenge simply b/c my kids deserve to have an intact family. If it weren’t for my kids, this marriage would have been over years ago…we were both unsatisfied.

About the pictures thing…I enjoy photography and printing photos…so this weekend when the W has the kids I’m going to print and frame 8x10 pictures of me and the kids and place them decoratively and tastefully throughout the house. If my W moves these photos…I’ll show her the front door. I think “blowing off steam” is the real reason why my W has taken down the pictures. She’s trying to show me that she’s going to be o.k. without me…that all of her memories of us are gone. She wants to shock me. Based on other BB posts, this is following WAS script. I’m over the initial shock of this and I simply see this as a childish ploy. Maybe my W is testing me to see how I react…she’s expecting me to overreact and I’m just not going to give her the satisfaction of pushing my buttons.

I did talk to an attorney yesterday and I plan to speak to two more attorneys by the end of this week. This first attorney urges to wait and see if my W files for divorce…. she simply may not go through with this course of action and is bluffing. If she does file; however, Florida Law is written in such a way that fathers have equal rights as mothers. It would be in our best interest if my W and I can agree on everything up front so that the divorce can run smoothly, minimizing costs.

I am still thinking about filing first, but I really don’t want to jeopardize Retrouvaille. Based on what Sara has said about the program, it may really help our situation simply b/c poor communication has been our relationship’s undoing. But I do agree with you that, over the next 45 days, I need to come up with a way to show her that I’m great about moving forward without her and am excited about being single again. Any suggestions other than filing for divorce myself? Maybe I should initiate divorce negotiations with her, but again, I don’t want to jeopardize Retrouville. It’s a risky proposition.

As far as sitting here and waiting…I’m GALing to my best abilities. Last Saturday I took the kids to Kennedy Space Center and had a blast. This weekend my W has the kids, but the following weekend I'm taking my son to an NFL football game in my hometown. I plan to do alot of golfing this weekend as well as maintenance stuff around the house. I love football…college football is starting this weekend. So I guess I have plenty of things to occupy my time. My friend suggested that I use a dating service like “Just for Lunch” to meet new and exciting women during this time…we’ll see about that.

Sandi, I am not a doormat. Just last night my W was being rude to me about me not putting away some of the groceries. At the time, I was putting away my daughter’s newly purchased pull-ups into her room. As I was returning to the kitchen, my W sarcastically thanked me about helping with the groceries. I called her on it saying “you have no right to talk down to me this manner…it will not be tolerated…I was simply helping out elsewhere.” It was like I was talking to a juvenile. Nonetheless, she did apologize, but I was pissed off and she knew it.

Thanks,
LFH