Sandi, You are right, I am having a hard time understanding what true detachment is, but I believe I am closer to understanding it than I have been before. We don't communicate, and that is both our faults. She won't open up and I don't press her to. That is one of my hopes for the weekend, that we both open up and really talk about our feelings. I do believe that if we can do that we have a shot, because deep down I think she really does love me, but there is too much stuff going on to let her show it. Actually what she said was that she didn't want to hurt me. On a couple of occasions she has said this, although she hasn't said it in some time. However, I did hurt her and I know it. We did talk about that. I completely owned up to my mistakes and how hurtful they were to her. I have done as much of a 180 in that area as possible, and she even recognizes it, she just isn't sure that it isn't to late for her to regain her feelings. What is she doing? Well, she goes out with friends about once a week. Less than she did a month or so ago. When we are home, it's all about the kids. When they go to bed, she usually gets out the laptop and either does bills or work she brings home. I ask her to sit with me and watch TV or a movie, but the answer is always no, so I stopped asking. When I do try to talk to her, I get single word answers or half hearted responses. So, I am not cold to her. I have not initiated conversation lately, but have always answered as cheerily as possible when she starts talking. When I do have to talk to her about the kids or something, I use my normal talking voice. We both need to communicate better. Much better. It has been a problem with our marriage from the beginning. I know that now looking back. Hopefully we learn to better communicate during this weekend, and hopefully it isn't too late.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
