You are right Oz - I don't want to give up but I am now listening to my body/emotions and wondering if I am not just making things worse for myself by hanging on for something that plain ain't gonna happen. I have faith but it's hiding right now.
When I first met with C, she said that she was hopeful and felt that H and I could make this work. Yesterday, she said "H seems to have made a firm decision" - which just keeps replaying over in my mind.
I feel sad again today. Just broke my favourite colander too so thinking that it's not just my emotional world falling apart but this is the start of everything falling apart, which I know is nonsense, really. Feeling very sorry for myself today and someone's dog has just cr*pped on my garden which I am really angry about having to clean up.
Don't know if you have watched the TV series The Hotel Inspector? They showed a hotel last night that H and I had stayed at back home and when I saw 'our' room and the bed that we slept in, I could have wept. It was on Foxtel and I just put it on live pause and relived the time that we were there ... it was heartbreaking. These are the things that the Martians get away with - these thoughts don't go through their minds as they are logical and not emotional, by and large. Throw in some sentiment for good measure and we crack up. Just as I am now.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
