The point is to live your changes, with no backtracking. THAT's what will bring her back.
It's being strong without pursuing her. Giving her the space to re-attach by being patient and exhibiting strength. As up and down as she will continue to be, you have to be the steady rock in her crazy world.
EB - I only scrolled back a page, so I don't know your entire sitch... but I feel for you tonight. Such hard news to take, even if you wondered about the condo searches on the computer. So heartbreaking to think of her consoling your S.
But, you need to take care of yourself and your S now. That's it. You can't control what your W does, and if there is an A ongoing, you don't have her attention and will be wasting your time and energy engaging her. Maybe you could get out of the house for awhile or do something with your S. Get away from your W for the moment and regroup.
So sorry for your heartache... but you WILL get through it. Practice some of that prayer you've been working on.
My BF emailed this verse to me today - maybe you can find some comfort in it too:
Word of the day: Hebrews 11:1. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
EB - thinking of you tonight. Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts. I'm so sorry. Hang in there. It's not over until the ink is dry on the page. My H has also moved out and told me a couple different times he spoke to a L. He still hasn't taken legal action, after 5 months.
Remember to watch words not actions. Sometimes physical space is what is needed - WAS sees the other side of separation, not just the fantasy. It's often not as great as they originally might think. Also, it gives them time to miss us. Thirdly, in some ways it's less painful because you don't have to watch them walk to their own bedroom every night.
I'm just saying - although you may be in panic mode, it's not over yet.
I agree - take some space yourself to be with yourself, your S, and to breathe. Surround yourself with friends, enjoy nature, whatever soothes you. You will survive this and so will S. Love yourself and your S the best you can. That's all you have control over.
EB, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I'm praying for you. Don't give up yet, but don't drive yourself crazy either. We are all here for you.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Just wanted to chime in to say, I echo what everyone else has said. Focus on what you can control - you and your R with your S. Your W has her own journey to take right now, and you can't help her through that.
As hard as it is, let that part go and focus like he!! on you and your S. This isn't over by a long shot.
