Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

No, not at all. I know I keep saying this about the fantasy, but I don't think you realize how strong that can be for a WAW. It is as much of the drug, I think, as the OM. After all, you know that she could not possibly love OM, but she has created the illusion of being in love. She has to keep feeding that illusion in order for it to stay alive for her. That is one reason she talks it up to friends, etc. The more she talks about it, the more she can convince herself. Until you have been in those shoes, you can't understand how powerful these emotions are and how captive it can make you.

Sandi,

The psychology of the WAW never ceases to amaze me. It is so hard for me to relate to this, not only because I'm a man but because I am a mentally disciplined one at that. I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate your insight.

You know, what is interesting is that my W apparently confessed to my MIL that she didn't think OM was particularly handsome, that his looks had taken a turn for the worse since she last saw him almost 20 years ago. I thought that little bit of honesty with my MIL was interesting- I don't know if she was as honest with her girlfriends or not or if there is any relevance to any of this- I know how looks aren't nearly as important to woman as they are to men. Then again, my MIL and all of my SILs think OM is ugly anyway, so maybe this is just my W relenting to calling a spade a spade.

In any event, speaking of "illusions", does this also require her to keep feeding herself negative illusions of me to prop up the positive illusions of the OM? Are the two illusions dependent upon one another or separate?

Anyway, wouldn't you have to pay child support only....or would you have to pay her also? B/c I don't know many women who can live on child support only.

According to my L, I will have to pay modest child support with 50% custody. However regarding alimony, I don't anticipate having to pay much if any since my W has a higher earning potential than I currently do (W is a union-paid RN) when she works full time. Yes, according to my L, my W is in for another rude surprise regarding alimony. More on that later.

It is disgusting how she is "using" her own children for her benefit. I hope you will hold her feet to the fire about that. This is why it is so much worse when children are involved.....it is much more complicated and so much of it turns ugly when things get to this stage.

I will hold her accountable for the impact her actions are having on the kids, you can count on it.

Thanks Sandi. Talk to you soon.