So how do I extend something to open that door while retaining my own dignity and self respect considering what she had done in cheating on me as well as the cruel way she has handled it the past 7 months????? Right now I don't want her back but it's what my boys wish for more than anything else right now. So, if I would die for my children, why couldn't I do this for them.....
I may get stoned for saying this, but I for one could not live with somebody just for my kid's sake. I love my children to death, but in a M there is you and the other person. In a "family" there are the children. The kids aren't in those intimate times with your S and they aren't in a lot of things where your R with your S is concerned. The kids aren't there in the M after they are grown and on there own, either. There are a lot of years there together "after" the kids are gone. I believe in doing all you can to keep a family together, but I also believe there is a limit to what a person should take from the other S. The R has been abused and it is up to you if you feel that you could ever love this woman again, but are you really doing the kids right by trying to stay with somebody you can't even stand? There have been many R's that held together for the sake of the kids but the couple certainly did not have a "life" and in a lot of cases.....I don't feel that it was fair to the kids b/c of the way the parents felt toward each other.
Right now you are still much too angry to even think about reconciling with your W. I think a lot of healing must be done before you can think about sacrificing your life ....in that capasity....for your boys. JMHO
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
