3 years of S, OW gone - What do I want?

[forward]

SH, Well, nobody who knows the sitch ever encourages the LBS to stay.

I think YOU need to move forward with your interactions with him. If asked, go to his apartment. (it's not easy to do it but I do recommend; it is enlightening) See what he is like now.

You need to find out what he is really like now, so take invites as an opportunity to get to see what is up with him. That will probably help you figure out what to do.