I'm glad you wrote in b/c it is great to get advice from a lady, especially since I know I'm nothing more than a DAM!
Ok, GF is the one who broke things off w/her son's father before they got married (they were engaged). He promised to take care of her when she got pregnant and never let her need or want for anything. Then, when she realized she wasn't in love w/this man, he used money as a form of control and forced her to spend $20K in attorney fees to get their custody issues settled (she won and got everything she asked for).
Also, he continued to pursue her and would constantly tell her he loved her then treat her like sh!t. So, in the beginning, she would say about me/to me "that is how they all start out, but then they change." Thus, her skepticism of who I really am. I have shown her consistency over time, so that isn't being said any longer b/c I think she can see I'm "different" than the men she's dated before.
As for us, she says she wants to take our R further, but she's not ready b/c she's "not right" and needs to figure that part out. I'm not taking it as a sign to hit the road, but I do think she is a bit shocked that I'm willing to wait it out instead of leaving for "greener pastures."
So, she's really angry toward her X. She has let him know there is no way they will ever be together again and I've even met him myself. Still, she says she can't get over some of the things he did to her when she was w/him as well as throughout the entire custody process.
As for her family, her father is a very quiet man who sits back and lets her mother run the show. Her mother on the other hand can have a bit of a temper and GF said she didn't get along well w/her mother until she had her son. Since then, they've mended the fences and her relationship w/her mother may be another thing that is holding her back.
So, I hope this makes some sense. I've told her I'm interested in her for her as I'm attracted to her on many levels. However, going slow is difficult for me as one of the things I realized I needed to learn in my D was patience as I've never really had much of it.
I can tell her feelings for me are real and it is very clear she's struggling w/our R. For now, I'm planning on hanging back and supporting her as she works through her stuff. I feel the end result will be something great for the two of us. However, the more time that goes on w/out her being able to fully give herself to me and us makes those old lingering doubts from my past experiences tend to creep up.
So, while I feel I'm doing the right thing and we're moving in the right direction to make things last for us, I can't help questioning things between us either.
Am I nuts or am I right to continue to be patient, wait for her, give her time, and be there for her support?
