Well, I was w/GF last night as we both had our kids this weekend. She was a bit distant at first last night and as we talked she said she didn't want to go to Vegas this weekend. She just didn't feel like going. Instead, she wants to stay local and we talked about a few things we could do together.
She mentioned that she wanted to make sure we didn't "act like we're married" by spending the entire weekend together. I told her that is fine and we have a long weekend and I can stay w/her for 0, 1, or two days. Her reply was "definitely not ZERO!" and she was pretty emphatic about it. She then said she wants me there for "several nights" this weekend.
So, again, it is going at a much slower pace than I'm used to, but I completely understand where she is coming from. She is afraid to go forward at full speed b/c she's had some major issues in the past. It would be nice if she'd just trust me and "go with it," but since it doesn't work that way, I'm going to continue to be patient.
All I can do now is to be consistent for her and continue to build our friendship and trust. In time, she'll be comfortable enough to let her guard completely down - it has come down for stretches before, so I know her inner comfort level w/us as an item is getting better and better.
She also continues to let out subtle hints in what she says and what she does that lets me know she wants me to stay and be patient too. I also get very clear indications that she's thinking of a future w/us together and I think that while that makes her happy, it also scares her a bit too.
So, once we hit October, things should take another turn for us. She wants to get started w/counseling b/c of some pent up issues she has toward the father of her son. She and I are on similar paths, but I'm a bit ahead of her right now.
Thus, my two options are to leave her behind and move forward on my own or wait for her to catch up. I'll keep doing my thing while she's "catching up" and I won't put my life on hold, but for now, I'm willing to give her some more time.
I told her I'm fine w/going slow and that it is actually good for me as I haven't had experience w/"doing it the right way" in the past. She was a bit surprised, but I let her know I haven't had role models for relationships in the past and thus had to figure it out on my own. Well, we all know that doing it alone can lead to some tough life lessons.
Anyway, that is where I am right now w/ GF. I really feel good about her feelings for me and I think I'm doing the right thing. However, if anyone smells something funny or senses I'm in denial or something, please chime in w/your two cents.
I always love the feedback regardless of if it is positive or constructive criticism. We can't grow if we're not making mistakes, right?
