You may not like hearing this coming from a woman but I am going to tell you what I told my brother who was in a similar situation with his W.
Grow a pair of b@lls and man up. You sound like a frightened little girl hiding in a corner that’s scared of her own shadow. You need to stop with the sniveling, woe is me attitude. If you have such serious issues with detaching and co-dependency maybe you should go see a therapist or psychiatrist about them because they sound as if they are crippling to you.
But for Heaven’s sake, take control of your own destiny and stop depending on your W for your happiness.
And one last thing… SHE HAS NO CONTROL OVER YOU other than that what you perceive. You are simply allowing yourself to be controlled by the circumstances, situations and, most importantly, reactions that you interpret are coming from her. You have stated countless times “I think she this and I think she that.” Stop thinking for her and stop guessing because it is obviously not helping you or the situation. Just concentrate on yourself and your children.
I’m sorry if I sound harsh or unsympathetic in my words but they are nonetheless for your own good. You obviously don’t seem to be getting the message when it is sugarcoated.
I know I'm going to take a lot of fire from others in this forum for posting this but I am willing to do so to try to help you.
