Any thoughts about the work thing? If your stbx offered to hook you up, would you accept? Feels a tad whorie to me but then so does being nicer to him so he'll give me money.
Say this gets really ugly in a legal sense between your lawyer and his lawyer should it ever get to that, if you're given job opportunities and you choose not to pursue them for personal reasons, I'm not sure how that's going to put you in a positive light in anyone's eyes. The economy being what it is, if you have the opportunity to work and earn money to support yourself and you choose not to, that may not be something that works out in your favor.
