Well, if I tell him he can't work on his computer, I can't very well complain about him not giving me money.
But, I see that until all of our things are physically separated, there will be excuses.
In the narcissist paradigm, H is wounded because of my disapproval and seeks it desperately.
My part, I'm so wounded by my own childhood, I can't seem to close the door on a possible R...and saving the marriage. But, I realize that I need space and boundaries so desperately.
I am super pissed off right now. And he succeeds at making me question, Gee, what's my problem? Kids freaking out, no money, no job, and H constantly reaffirming that it was my fault...why am I not a shiny happy person around him?
Anyway, this is getting old.
Arguing with someone, anyone is a sign of disrespect. Something in you doesn't respect him and he argues with you because he doesn't respect you.
How do we fix this?
Who stops fighting first?
Question: if you could have your relationship with your husband and have a great marriage as opposed to it's current state, what would it look like? What would he be like if you could have him be a specific way? What good things would he do when it comes to you? What needs would he be fulfilling that aren't taken care of now? What would he want from you that he currently thinks you don't provide?
I know I'm coming in a little late on this thread so forgive me for asking some questions you've probably answered a million times already. Where are you guys at currently? How long has it been like this? Do you still love him? (remember love is a choice you make, attraction may be involuntary but love is a definite choice)
