Listen RSF- the esoteric and dreamy stuff comes off as juvenile but looking your W in the eyes and telling her you love her and want to be with her and that you have worked on yourself and you are sorry...all of that is substantial (and the stuff I get none of)...
No woman in her right mind can consider taking an H back because he has a whim, or had a dream, or saw a psychic...way too shallow.
Actually, it was a dream that prompted H to come back last time. No, we've got to grow up here and make choices, real concrete choices backed by actions.
Cuz, you and I know that one can have a multitude of dreams at any given time...so what?
I don't want some random, fell out of the sky drama, I want a man who knows what he wants and knows he wants me.
I like your strong position on that. I was puking my emotional guts up when I told her about the dream. I'm in much better control now. If I didn't have this forum for an outlet I don't know if I'd be very far along. How long did it take you to get to a clear and confident position on what you want and need? I ask that both from the perspective of wondering about myself and my W.
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
I like your strong position on that. I was puking my emotional guts up when I told her about the dream. I'm in much better control now. If I didn't have this forum for an outlet I don't know if I'd be very far along. How long did it take you to get to a clear and confident position on what you want and need? I ask that both from the perspective of wondering about myself and my W.
I had a pretty good idea from the get go but the problem has been my unshakeable attachment to marriage itself and keeping my family together. So, I really wasn't dealing with reality...
It was when I was really at my bottom, fantasizing about suicide, in so much pain that I went away for a few days and really turned things around. It became clear that if I didn't change my expectations, I would become more and more depressed and my kids would be more damaged.
I still have moments of "this can't really be happening," but, I know that I will survive and thrive if I allow myself to.
Also, I don't know if I will find the perfect guy... ...I just know that I want to feel a peace and joy with whoever I'm with and not this anxiety and constant drama. A LOT of that has to do with me and how I handle myself and what I make space for in my life.
Today at H's, I saw a book about how to hone one's PSYCHIC abilities...he is convinced he is psychic (I know because he has told me many times) and has been watching magic DVDs and practicing tricks...I'm not getting a "stable" vibe from him.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Today at H's, I saw a book about how to hone one's PSYCHIC abilities...he is convinced he is psychic (I know because he has told me many times) and has been watching magic DVDs and practicing tricks...I'm not getting a "stable" vibe from him.
I will admit that even though my W has been diagnosed, I think your husband seems less stable than her.
...I just know that I want to feel a peace and joy with whoever I'm with and not this anxiety and constant drama. A LOT of that has to do with me and how I handle myself and what I make space for in my life.
