You don't understand. Detaching does not mean to physically leave your W. Detaching means cutting the emotional strings that she has on you. It means not being reliant on her moods and thoughts for your own happiness.
My W and I live together, do things with the kids together, sleep together, etc. But I know that if she gets up and leaves tomorrow, I'll be fine. If she stays I'll be fine. I am my own man.
It's becoming an individual again. sandi once asked me if there were a way to get at least one hour of "me" time a day where I wouldn't think of my W at all. So I started running. I give her space. She needs to figure things out herself.
Same as your W. She needs to figure things out herself. Let's put it this way. If she were to die (heaven forbid) today, you'd have to survive without her. You know you won't die, without her.
You are still hinging everything she does based on her reactions. I don't know if you realize how codependent you've become on her. Live for yourself first. Take the focus off her.
If she took your whole family off FB, who cares? If she doesn't compliment you, who cares? It's your decision to stay in it. You have to be able to shrug it off if she doesn't react the way YOU want her to.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
