Here is a detachment trick that my therapist taught me. Look at your marriage from the "eyes" of someone else. Try to picture what you would advice "yourself" if you were not in the situation. Also, really think about what it is you want. Do you want to divorce or try to reconcile?
Also, the family time needs to stop. That is cake eating, having the best of both worlds. It may make it easier on her, but it is not easier on you, and especially not the children. It sends the children mixed messages.
If your W truly does not want the marriage, she has to suffer the consequences of giving it up, not deciding what is best for her. It has to be best for everyone.
Finally, no R discussions at all. Ever. Unless she brings it up. One of the parts of validating is to realize that, at this point, she does not want to be married to you anymore. You do have to accept that. It could change in the future, but it won't if you do not do the work and accept that at this moment, she is done.
Trust me when I say the beginning is very hard, and you will feel a lot of pain. Try to make sure you deal with these emotions because if you don't they will creep up on you.
Post here as much as you want, even if you don't get a response. I have been here a while, and don't always get a response, but if I need to vent, the folks here are good people and understand exactly what you are going through.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
