All these folks have wise advice. You'll get a lot of support here. Even if inside you are dying for reconsiliation, walk the walk of GAL.
I've read some books on affairs, and they say sometimes the WAS won't just walk away from the OM. It takes time to let them go too. But your W will know this is what she must do and start the process sooner if you show her that the only way to have your M is if she does stop contact with OM.
I would take space and wait until/if she does this. If she can have you and the OM too she may drag out the process of saying good-bye to OM. If she knows definitively that she will lose you unless she goes through - what may seem to her as a painful process of - good-bye to OM, she will do it. If she doesn't, you save yourself a long period of pain.
I pray she will value what you have in you M and make the right choice to relinquish the OM and work on a better M with you. It's a long road to trust again but she has to have both feet planted in the M or it can't work.
