Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[dday101798]

Interesting that both of your WAW's reacted the way they did after the D was final. I am curious- what do you think made them react that way? Was it the trauma of the D experience that woke them up or something associated with realizing now how bad being D is? Was there any significant "awakening" - or at least a significant decrease in their sociopathic WAW behaviors before the D was final?

For various reasons:

First and foremost, as I have just realized myself, in terms of the former relation, I am now the WAS, XW the LBS, the tables have turned.

Secondly, in conjunction with above, XW got what she thought she wanted. Never once listened when I told her to be careful what she asks for, she will get it and will not happy. Well, gosh be darned, here we are today and now that Xw is no longer married to her horrific XH anymore, I all the sudden don't look so bad after all.

Lastlty, and in conjunction with both the forementioned reasons, life for the former LBS starts to go on. This "isn't supposed to happen". We're to sit and be miserable and at the beckon call for our WAS. How dare we finally say enough is enough and move on? Be happy again? Explore the possibility that D is not the end of life? That was not supposed to happen. That was not in the master plan of the 'original WAS', and now, they're out of the driver's seat. Xw thought she ahd this whole thing planned out. And now, well, the plan is corrupt and XW doens't know what to do or where to go, the proverbial 'saftery net' is officially gone.

That said, you can not and should not be there to 'catch' your W. It's a fall she needs to take on her own.

EDIT- And I seriously stress you explore anyway, be it a temp custody order or not to secure your home. Her claims she is making right now that she NEEDS that house to care for the kids will get you booted once it hits court! I'm not joking.