The temptation is to sit around, be miserable, and wait for your wife and OM to determine what happens to you.
As long as she's dating the OM, she won't notice you or ANYTHING you do. Even if the OM broke up with her, she's hoping his reconciliation attempts with his wife will fail and he'll return to her.
Right now she feels it's hard to get over him. She's really in LOVE with him. It may take 6 months to 24 months for her to get over him. She may never. No guarantees.
You hear a lot about "getting a life" on these boards. The basic idea is you find yourself again, take care of yourself, be the best person possible, and perhaps, your spouse will notice and come back. Unfotunately, when your marriage is at stake, our spouses can tell the gatting a life activities are really just to win them back.
The best book I've seen on getting a life is a program designed to help certain types of men become whole and integrated regardless of what happens in their marriage. It's called No More Mr. Nice Guy. Get the book. It might help you.
