I have jumped around a bit, posted a few times, commented more times. So I am moving over to this forum more as a journal than anything since my previous posts were never really followed by anybody.
Synopsis-Moved in 2006 and wife began affair with a woman...told it was only a "friendship" Knew something was up, but just didn't catch on.
January 2008-Wife returns home with hicky on neck from night at bar and I get truth about relationship. Get the usually lines that don't need repeating. Wife begins to life at GF's on weekends and does little or nothing with family. Frequent partying, etc...I become single parent.
February 2009- After incident with children (extremely bad) wife moves out of house because she can't cope with children. Moves in with GF temporarily and develops friendship with guy friend. Two weeks later calls to tell me she is coming home that evening. GF and her go out drinking that evening and have fight...while driving home fight continues, GF verbally assaults wife, then hits wife, wife jumps out of moving vehicle and smashes head on ground. Wife calls guy friend, but he doesn't help. GF calls me to say my wife won't be coming home and doesn't mention incident. Wife calls me at 5am, tells me story, asks me to pick her up and take her to hospital.
Feb-to now-Wife continues to party with guy friend because she doesn't want to be home..to boring..not enough fun...she doesn't want to be a wife or mother. Starts to include dining out, constant IM'ing, motorcycle rides, and frequent visits to the bars (usually 3-4 times a week). At times it seems like our relationship is on a roller coaster, then she goes on binge time from home, I blow up from stress, fatigue, etc and confront her...about once a month.
Saturday night- (her schedule leading up to this-thursday-work all day then go out to 12 and return home drunk, Friday-Work until 6, grab dinner, out at bars until 1:30, Saturday-sit around doing nothing until 1, go to movies, go out drinking until 2-all activities with guy friend). Upon returning..I am still up with fiberglass itch (installed insulation with friend), stressed about new business, finances, no me time, and being with children non-stop (kids are well behaved, but I haven't had a real kid break in 2 years). I tell her I am stressed about money and work. Tell her that she is having an EA with guy friend even if it isn't physical. She doesn't say boo...and just looks at me like I am nuts and have no right talking to her. I get in car and go for 4 hour drive.
She is currently trying to save up enough money to get an apartment. This month was bad for my company, so she had to use "her" money to cover the mortgage. I got a quick comment about her having to use "her" money to cover the mortgage. She is still pissed from Saturday. Big backslide on my part...but I am just so sick of this now. It has been 2.5 years of crap and with all this other stress...it just overwhelms me.
Me-Lost my job in December of 2008 and instead of going on unemployment started my own company. The company is actually doing excellent in this economy considering it is brand new. That said, it is also not doing good enough to cover the bills and I didn't start the company with a lot in savings (wasn't planning on losing my job). Have a ton of potential clients, but either they don't have work or can't get money from the banks to start projects. So trying to get by.
I am very stressed, but it comes out only towards my wife. Between taking care of the kids by myself, taking care of the house by myself, being lonely, and the new business....I am tired. So I get no help and become resentful when I see this person partying non-stop. The downfall is when I do something on my own...the price I pay when I return isn't worth it. Returning to stressed out kids and a pissy wife isn't fun.
Done a bunch of gal'ing and 180's which is good. For the most part I am successful at living "as if", but occasionally I get sick of it. Whether she moves out or not, I will still be doing the same things. It almost makes it worse that she is here, because I get reminded that she wants nothing to do with us or the house. At least if she isn't here, I won't be reminded that drinking and partying are her priorities now and not the children or house.
So I am here because I know she will move out soon and this seems the right place to be,
