I was supposed to get divorced tomorrow - part 2

[1853dave]

Hi Antlers,

Yes, I am afraid the resentment starts to bubble up and become anger, and I am really trying to learn to channel it elsewhere rather than to let it come out at my W. Easier said than done, no doubt. Unfortunately, my W seems to hold a lot of resentment too - even if I was not the source - but I am the closest one to attack, so you know who is the convenient target...

Amazing, how much pride one has to swallow, and how you just have to keep your mouth shut - no matter how right you feel, or how wronged you've been by your spouse.

It feels like being gagged and bound, all the while letting your W continue to beat up on you. That and their perspective - if it doesn't match yours, then YOU are the one who's wrong. Period!

It doesn't make any sense, but then again, none of it ever did in the first place! At this point it doesn't really matter. I mentioned to my W yesterday that we need to lose the anger - to stop looking for the faults. A better course would be to start looking ahead rather than behind...

We had a couple of incidents this weekend - while not desirable, we handled them ok, I think. I'm sure I'll hear about them tonight (as they are all my fault, right?!)

Anyway, more DB counseling tonight. As long as D9 isn't sick today (ear infection over the past few days) W should be there too.

I expect to come out with more black eyes! Or, maybe not - she has surprised me with positive steps recently too. Just another reason to go in with that "as-if" attitude. That seems to help set the tone...