Just want my H back

[RedSoxFan]

Another thought re-reading Deep's comments (very helpful thank you), in some ways I feel like H is getting away w murder/anything..while not blantantly 'using me' he is totally disrespecting our marriage/vows/everything by just totally ignoring me, my presence, going on w his life as if i am not a part of it - without facing up to or having the courage to ask for a D. That is not a H. But if I say that he may just say the 'ok, we're done..' But it's not right what he's doing either...I feel between a rock and a hard place sometimes. I don't want to push him away more, but whenever I think what he's doing it seems like utter disrespect while I still am his wife.

HHH, I don't know your situation but I can share this. I walked away from my W almost a year ago. Depression + MLC + years of M going down hill = PA and me saying things I later realized I didn't mean. After 10 months of healing I woke up. Nothing or no one could have talked any sense into me when I was in the midst of everything. I was not myself. We are still married but W has moved on with her life and is seeing OM. Good chance our M is lost forever but I hang on to a little hope.

Point is, I was not myself when I did the things I did. It's not an excuse because I still own it. Hopefully it might help you look at your sitch with objectivity.