mmmm. Yes. It does. I feel zero stress over the apt. It's going to work out. If I take the long route, the lawyer says I have about 6 months before a judge would make me leave. There's time. I hope to not have a day in court, but sometimes these things happen, and I am well prepared anyway. I long to connect with Mark. I think our troubles are so small. I want his comfort. I am reaching a point were I am a bit po'd at him. He threw us away. I am upset at myself for letting my gaurd down and loving a man who clearly was a tough case with a bad track record. I was going to be "different". Well if he is going to be this rigid in relationships, he's going to be alone in this world. I offered him companionship, friendship, love. He disrespected all that I gave him. I'm getting angry. Suppose it's just another phase in this sucky experience, and I'm not sure what it means. I could really smack him upside the head right now for being such a dick to me the last couple months we were together. He ruined this and blames me.
I was going to offer the family to do my deceased friend's hair. I've done it for years and I know he was a little overdue. But they're doing a cremation so it's not necessary. I prefer cremation anyway so I'm glad the family chose this. Service Wednesday. Surreal.
