First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

Thanks Kat. I did talk to her about it last night.

And she doesn't really understand why it's that way. I told her it scared me because I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I asked her if she didn't think I was being genuine when I gave her those compliments because to her I'm her H and I'm obligated? She looked at me and paused for a second and then said "that could be part of it". I then told her that we've been married for a long time and she should know by now that I don't say things I don't honestly mean or believe. She agreed with me so then I said "if you'd like, I can quit complimenting you" and she smiled and said "no, I like your compliments, but it's hard for me when you compliment my legs for example and I don't like my legs, so it seems false to me". I told her I understood, but why then if someone else (read band guy from Saturday) compliments her legs she accepts those as real when they're the same things I've said? She didn't really have an answer for that, but she said she'd make an effort to accept the compliments I give her.

So a bit later I went to the grocery store for a quick few things and while I was there I got her some roses. When I walked in she saw them and said "those don't look like groceries" and I replied, "they're not, but these are for you" and she smiled and gave me a kiss and a thank you! Boy how the times have changed.

We talked later in the evening. Given her comment earlier when she claimed she never said she loved me, I wanted to get it out there so we could discuss. So I went as kneeled down next to where she was sitting and repeated to her all the things she said to me on Saturday. I told her again how much I liked hearing her say she loved me and she replied "I do love you". And I mentioned her comment that she's always loved me and she replied "it's true, I've always loved you". Man did it feel good to hear that.

So then we talked about that stupid glass and she again said "it doesn't mean anything to me" and I told her I understood, but it really means a LOT to me and it would really mean a lot to me if she brought it home so I could break it! She said, "OK, but I don't want broken glass around here" and I replied "I'll take it somewhere and break it myself" to which she said "ok" with a smile on her face.

So there you have it. I guess I'm feeling confident enough to say we're going to make it. We have a lot of stuff to work thru, but I'm sure we can get there. And she's being so much more willing to talk about stuff that I'm hopeful she'll continue that way so we can discuss those things that I need to heal from this.

When I went to bed last night I stopped by S17's room and stuck my head in the door and said to him "I think Mom and I are going to be ok". He looked at me with a puzzled look and I repeated it again and he gave me a two thumbs up and said "I don't need to know details, but that makes me very happy". I smiled and told him I loved him very much and he told me he loved me too.

Man, I've just got this huge smile on my face while I type this.....and yes, some tears in my eyes.