Nell is dead on. You aren't detaching. Essentially, H's actions are your focus and are affecting your moods. It IS exhausting, yes? And what you've got to know is that this is a marathon, not a sprint. So, it's time to settle in for a while...kind of like preparing for that cross-country, multi-day drive. If you thought about it, it would make you crazy, but if you focus on the scenery, play little games along the way, stop and site see, take time for a rest, then before you know it, you've reached your destination.
H's actions should generally just be "interesting" to you. Hmmm...H is smiling at me; how interesting. Oh, now H seems to have returned his head up his rectum...I wonder if he enjoys the view from inside there? How interesting...." Not to say that certain things won't level you from time to time, but you will recover more quickly if you learn to detach.
Who knows what H is going to do? You won't know until he does it. Why make yourself crazy about it? Don't own his crazy...just get the new place looking like you want it to look. Go buy some flowers, find a vase, and set it somewhere you'll see often. Stop and smell them. Flowers make a gal feel good, and there's no reason we shouldn't buy them for ourselves. I do from time to time.
No expectations from H. Remember, he's the one with the poo crumbs stuck in his hair because he keeps insisting that up his behind is where he wants to be.
Now, what are you doing for YOU?
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
