3 years of S, OW gone - What do I want?

[peacetoday]

SH
It is so frustrating
no one can make the answers for you on when is enough
when to really let go
its good that you have sources, so you dont stick your head in the sand
Life is precious and if our H dont want to become better men living in an enlightened way, we have to move on
all i can say is you are very smart so trust yourself
meditate, journel
listen
and if you feel its time, then take action
None of it means anything really
H is already gone
we can still be upbeat cordial and pleasant
they are moving in a direction with women ect
we can also move in a direction
maybe that is just a direction of closure

as I look back ovwer the last 5 months
right after D, I met BF
the attraction was so strong that I got totally pulled away from XH
xh has gotten worse over these months
less availabke ect( you read my thread)
Not b/c of me
well who really knows
but the point is , I dont think I could have let go without BF in picture
now Im not going to stay with bf
just a matter of timing
im listening here too
so its all risky you know--no fear though
but when we are guided by God, we will make no mistakes
we live in light
I know you do
peace