I want to succeed here. I want the best option, the one that gives me the best chance. I just don't have any idea what it is.
I do. I gave you a hint before of your "best" option.
I will tell you what it is again and then I will tell you why...
Leave her alone. Let her make her own decisions regarding the kids being around the OM or not.
Why? I told you before.. The MORE the kids are around while your wife and the OM are in the beginning of a relationship the BIGGER advantage YOU have.
They are NOT his kids and his kids are NOT her kids.. The kids being in the picture make it VERY VERY VERY difficult to have a sucessful relationship. (Since you are a father, I would think that you would already know what a pain in the butt children can be when you "want" some alone time etc etc...
The kids WILL start to drive a wedge between your wife and OM. Differences in discipline. Differences in how to discipline. Differences in the way he or she disciplines their own children vs the children that are not their own.
All the while they are going to try and have a "romantic relationship"? You have to be kidding me if you believe that nonsense....
Now. You just allowed her to have an alone weekend with him and you enabled the affair by watching the children. Your choice, but I certainly don't believe it was the one that will give you the BEST chance to save this.
I don't view that as too smart of an idea.....
Your choice, but I would ALLOW them to spend a LOT of time together and maybe even push that she have the kids MORE now than ever...
I am telling you.. It will get OLD fast.. For him, for her... Instant family that they aren't prepared for........
I would allow her to have the kids MORE. Not less. I would let them be an advantage for me...
I certainly would NOT watch MY kids WHILE my wife was off having an affair with OM..... NO WAY..(and OFFER to do it for her no less???) If she is going to be their mom, then she can be responsible or not responsible all on her own. I am NOT going to help her to NOT be responsible....
Now.. That is your BEST chance. You will find others that are going to argue about the kids and being pawns and this and that and a thousand other things...
The facts are that they will help you without even knowing.
