Work was great. it's wonderful to be in such a great work place but it was a really busy day.
I have a few friends at work who know H had an affair but I only confide in a couple. I don't want to burn them out with my ongoing sagas! As for the rest (there's 65)I'm not sure what they know except that I am separated
Good option to keep your own counsel. Even though you could trust many, you would soon become tea room gossip and that is a hideously cruel situation ... you are lucky having some workmates to confide in. You spend a long time there and it would be hideous to have to go 8hrs without mentioning it at all.
Last edited by Eskimo Nell; 08/31/0910:59 AM.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Maybe you could email back and say "was there anything particular that you were after?" and then decide whether or not you want to give it to him.
I wouldn't be any too quick in answering the email - Wednesday or Thursday would be a 'minimum contact' kind of response time - when YOU are ready to reply. Also, it would give you more time to think of a plan if you decide not to give him the bookshelf and drawers!!
Just thinking of me giving my H half the pantry and dry stores only to be told he didn't like cous-cous and wholemeal spaghetti. We have laughed about it since!
Last edited by Eskimo Nell; 08/31/0911:04 AM.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Yes - best plan. Take the votes, count 'em up and then do what you think is the best overall advice.
How are you going with the nc and is it different to going dark? How do you FEEL in your emotional head and heart - if you are OK to share that here ... ?
What are you doing to motivate yourself in terms of keeping you focused? I am Day 6 tomorrow and still feeling strong but think that I will struggle come day 11 or 12 ... will be good to follow your progress and see who breaks first! (Hope it's H on something more than the furniture issue)!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
The problem is that you are letting his actions dictate your life. This isn't a game. It's either your changes are real or not. If you are making changes only to "attract" him back, they aren't going to work.
He has to feel and be afraid that you have gotten over him. The only way to do that is to really do so. Let's face it, you haven't been able to control his behavior from Day 1. Yet he has been able to control yours. And he doesn't even live with you any more. Stop being a puppet for his convenience. Live first and ask questions later.
That's what DB is all about. Whatever you tried before, you have to give it a 2 week window. Then if that doesn't work, try something else. You've given this man 4 years of power over you. Do something different.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Oh Cas - you have been beaten with the Stuck Stick and he has been studying at the Gucci University ... now you are in trouble girl!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gotta say, those two 'beating up' on me has turned me around this week and I have had so many people comment on how I am coming out of my funk and toughening back up.
Welcome to my world!!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
