I think the main reason why your W is doing all this is because she is slowly checking herself out. Retrouvaille may be her reaction to finally saying that it's over. The thing is that it's not going to be a "miracle" unless both parties at least have a slight desire of wanting to work things out.
You haven't detached or let her go. I think she totally feels the clinginess. My sitch is the opposite of yours. My W has said she never wanted to go to any sort of retreat or counseling, yet she has improved our communications, started becoming more interactive with me and the family and has made more plans for the future. While we have to intimacy yet, she and I talk in bed and can even joke around.
A couple of weeks ago when she was off on one of her mood swings, I wrote a lengthy email (you can read it in my thread) and called her on it. I told her that I wasn't going to be further disrespected by her.
The thing is, I got her close enough that I felt comfortable to do that. I did all the "attracting" her back and then felt a little "stuck". So I decided to do something different. I told her what was on my mind and for her to own up to her sh*t.
I think you need to do that here. I think you haven't detached enough and done anything for yourself. You are still watching her and I think when she turns you down, you look disappointed which creates pressure in the form of guilt for her. So obviously she wants to get away.
Do something different. What is the opposite of what you've been doing so far? See how that might affect her.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
